FFTF Episode 4 - Learn From Your Failures: A Failed Parenting Moment
===
[00:00:00] Welcome to From Failure to Fulfillment, where failure isn't the end. It's an acronym for Growth, friend, analyze, investigate, learn, understand, regroup, and Execute. I'm your host, Dr. Andrew Blackwood, also known as Coach Drew, and together we'll discover how God transforms our failures into steps toward Christ-like fulfillment.
Parenting is one of the most humbling roles I've ever stepped into because it constantly reminds me of my failures times when I lost patience, spoke too quickly, or didn't show up the way I wanted. In those moments, guilt tries to take over. But learning from failure is what transforms us in the mental health space.
We call it a growth mindset. But in faith we call it discipleship, becoming more like [00:01:00] Christ. Ephesians six, four tells us to bring children up with patience and instruction. Today I'll share a story of a parenting failure that became a turning point in my growth before having children. I thought I was one of the most patient people in the world.
When I had my first child and heard her speak, I loved that little voice and said to myself and everyone else that I would never grow tired of hearing her voice. Fast forward seven years, and there I was at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at my 7-year-old daughter yelling so loudly that she was shaken with fear.
I felt terrible. I felt so guilty and ashamed. I realized in that moment how judgmental I had been. My dad was a yeller [00:02:00] and I never thought I would yell at my kids, but there I was guilty as sin. And to top it off, I had all these years of clinical training. I was a marriage and family therapist. If anyone should know better and be able to do better, should be me.
Failure has a way of humbling us. What I discovered through this particular failure was that I am just as human as everyone else. When stressed and sleep deprived, I can become impatient and vulnerable to doing and saying things that don't reflect who God has created and called me to be. This experience reminds me of Jesus's foretelling, of Peter's denial and his epic failure, but Jesus didn't stop with the acknowledgement of Peter's failure.
He encouraged him. [00:03:00] And told him that he prayed for him, that his faith would not fail. And on top of that, he recommissions Peter in advance. He tells him when you've been converted, return and strengthen the brethren. When we fail in our parenting, because we will, it is important for us to be converted. To have a change of mind, a change of heart, and a change in action and to return to them to help them heal and grow.
Yes, we, the very same ones who hurt them, are gifted with the opportunity to help them heal. I didn't know that this book would come in hand for me, but I'm grateful that I had written the art of a genuine apology. It's almost as if God knew that I would need it in that moment. I was able to return to my daughter [00:04:00] with the hall still ringing with my voice.
I was able to approach her and to acknowledge how badly my yelling scared her, and to say that it was my responsibility to manage my emotions, and that if I was ever that angry, I would tell her that I am feeling angry and excuse myself before giving her directions. When I asked her how she was feeling, because that's part of a genuine apology, it's not a one way offering, it's it's a dialogue.
When I asked her if there was anything that she wanted to say or anything that I had missed, she hugged me and said that I was forgiven. More important than being forgiving. Was that experience of witnessing life return to her little face and her body. When I acknowledged how afraid she was, it happened instantly.
It was as if [00:05:00] acknowledging her pain helps to release the pain. I will remember that moment forever. I've come to believe that there isn't a pain, that God can't heal and sometimes. He allows us as parents to be a part of delivering that healing. If you've had an interaction with your child or your children that you don't feel good about a moment that has caused your child pain, I encourage you to take a moment to hear how God wants you to address it.
Every parenting mistake is a classroom. Christ teaches us humility, grace, and love. Hebrews 12, verse 11 reminds us that discipline, though painful at the time, produces a harvest of righteousness. So which of your failures might God be using to [00:06:00] mature you into Christ? Like patience and gentleness? Give it some thought.
Let's pray together. Father, we thank you because you are a good and perfect father. We acknowledge humbly that we will miss, make mistakes, but we also wanna acknowledge that when we confess our sins, you are faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us and help us. And in so doing. We can help our children.
So we thank you for the opportunity. We thank you for your spirit that will guide us into all truth. That will help us to recognize the time to approach and give us the words to say the words that will bring about healing. We thank you that your [00:07:00] love for us is unconditional and that failure is not the end with you.
We thank you that failure is never final when you are forming us. You are faithful. We can be confident of this very thing that you who have begun a good work in us will perform it until the day of Christ Jesus, until the day that you return. Until we see you face to face. We thank you for this moment and this season.
Bless our efforts. Help us to learn from our failures and to become more like you in Jesus' name. We pray and say thank you. Amen. I want to thank you so much for spending this time with me. Remember, failure is never final when God is forming us. Until next time, keep moving from failure to fulfillment in Christ.
Thanks for [00:08:00] listening to From Failure to Fulfillment. If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend and don't forget to like, follow, or subscribe so you won't miss the next one. Until then, remember, with God, failure is never final.
