FFTF Episode 3 - Investigate Your Failures: The Fear Of Not Being Enough
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[00:00:00] Welcome to From Failure to Fulfillment, a podcast where we explore how God redeems our setbacks and shapes us through them. I'm your host, coach Drew, and together we'll discover how faith can turn even the hardest of moments into stepping stones of growth.
If you've ever felt the pressure to do more or ended the day thinking, I didn't get enough done, you're not alone. Even though we know there will always be more to do, there's this persistent, unrelenting drive pushing us to demand more of ourselves. Often it's rooted in this deeply held belief. Who I am isn't enough for me.
That faint yet deep message I'm not enough, has been with me. Not so much as a clear thought, but a nagging ache for as long as I can [00:01:00] remember. For most of us, it comes from past experiences, traumatic relational wounds and patterns of comparison. Spiritually, it echoes the lies of the enemy, and when failure triggers deep discouragement, those lies can ignite fear.
Then fuel a cycle of self-criticism. But as followers of Christ, we are entitled to investigate these beliefs, to ask questions and uncover the truth of how God sees us. Psalm 1 39 verse 14 reminds us, I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. When we investigate our failures and our fears, we discover that God consistently declares our worth.
Today I wanna share a story of where my failure triggered the fear of not being enough, [00:02:00] robbing me of joy, and how God used that experience. To reshape how I see myself long before entering the mental health world, I earned a degree in music. In vocal performance. In fact, I spent hours listening to classically trained bass baritones trying to match their tones and magnificent delivery.
But whenever I faced a note that felt out of range, fear gripped me. I tightened up and worried about cracking, making a mistake, and being embarrassed in front of my peers. That fear consumed my practice time. Instead of being free and enjoying my God-given voice, I tensed up. I wasn't confident because I was always comparing myself to others.
It wasn't just music, whether it was playing the keyboard or [00:03:00] even as a teen running track, the fear of not being good enough followed me everywhere. Here's what I missed for so many years. Even if I had lost a race or cracked on a note or made an embarrassing mistake, I would still be loved. Not just tolerated but loved.
Instead, I poured my energy into trying to prove I was special to secure worth through amazing performances. While working hard has its place and celebrating wins, big or small is important. The drive I felt wasn't healthy. It wasn't like God in Genesis chapter one who looked at creation and said, it is good.
It was more like, oh, it's not great, but it will have to do now. What's next? [00:04:00] There was no appreciation, no rest, no gratitude. Just get through it and onto the next thing. That was the trap for me. I graduated with the degree. I passed my juries and completed my performances, but the failure was this. I didn't leave.
As a confident musician, and worst of all, I rarely enjoyed the instrument God had given me. Now, as a father, I see things completely differently. I don't love my children because they perform perfectly. In fact, they're little mistakes. They're quirks and unique expressions. That's what makes them who they are.
When they fall or when they fail. I love seeing them try again. I love watching them grow. I believe our heavenly Father [00:05:00] loves us the same way. Romans eight 15 reminds us the spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, Abba. Father, we don't have to perform to earn his love.
We already belong when Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, Matthew chapter four, verses one through 11, the enemy kept challenging him to prove himself, but Jesus didn't need to. He rested in the father's words at his baptism. This is my son, whom I love with him, I'm well pleased. That's Matthew three verse 17.
That confidence wasn't self-confidence. It was God confidence. I'm learning the same lesson. I don't have to do everything perfectly or as [00:06:00] well as others. I can be the most alive at peace version of me. Effort and discipline still matter, but they flow from a joyful desire, not fearful. Desperation.
When we investigate our failures and fears, we often uncover lies that distort our self-image and cause us to forget our true identity. The scriptures tell us that to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. That means God isn't asking us to prove ourselves.
He's telling us to accept that we belong to him. So let me ask you, where have you believed the lie that you're not enough? What would change if you [00:07:00] rested in the truth that you are already deeply loved by your father? I'd love to hear your reflections. Let's pray together. Father, thank you that your love for us isn't based on our performance, whether we rise or fall, we, whether we fail, or you know, just falter along the way.
Your love for us is sure. We are so grateful that through it all, your love is faithful. Help us to learn to be faithful to you, to trust that your care will never end, and that we are enough because you said we are enough. We are enough because you made us enough. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, and we are loved by you.
Impressed us upon our hearts, Lord, this is our [00:08:00] prayer. In Jesus' name, amen. Thanks for spending this time with me. Remember, failure is never final when God is forming us. Until next time, keep moving from failure to fulfillment in Christ.
Thanks for listening to From Failure to Fulfillment. If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend and don't forget to like, follow, or subscribe so you won't miss the next one. Until then, remember, with God, failure is never final.
